Thursday, July 1, 2010

Depression at it's Finest

I've been thinking of starting a vlog. Why? No clue. Also, it makes me wonder how I could even consider it if I have such a hard time keeping a regular blog running. Oh well..maybe some day.

I also thought that I would be one of those awesome thrifty girls who post what they wear everyday. Then I realized that I don't have the time/money (mostly money) to go thrifting all the time. A lot of my clothes are from Target and that's only because it's within biking distance to where I live. Their clothes aren't that interesting. Definitely not interesting enough to write about nearly everyday. Sooo I'm still stumped as to what this'll be about.

Also, I'm trying out dating again. Just thought you should know.

I spent all last night doing homework and talking on the phone. And when I say doing homework, I mean chatting online to wonderful people. And by this, I mean I was also looking for a song to sing for my audition. Audition for Sweeney Todd. Why? No clue..I can't sing, but I miss being in plays. If I don't get cast, I'll settle for set building/stage makeup/whatever else.

But the majority of my night was spent on the phone. Until about 3:30 am. Was it worth it? Absolutely. You see, it really sucks, but I was the cause of someone's bout of depression yesterday. I was asked out; I would have LOVED to go, but I had soooo much homework to do. AND he called and said he could "be there in a half hour." What?! That's not nearly enough time to get ready for a date. Not at all.

I explained to him why I couldn't and that I would love to another time. (I know girls say this allll the time to let someone down easy, but I honestly meant it.) He saw this as rejection and he quit talking. And by quit talking I mean we spent 2 hours texting back and forth. He was finding excuses for me not to be interested. How because of his work schedule, he wouldn't be asking me again anytime soon.

After a little while, we spoke on the phone. He started saying things like "I don't want pity. And you're only talking to me because of what happened to your ex. You couldn't save him blah blah blah." What happened to my ex, you ask? That's a story for a different day. But he couldn't be more wrong. I enjoy talking to this person. Even when he's depressed and mopey, he can put a smile on my face. So do I hope he asks me out again? Yes. Do I think he will? Well..after our later conversations, I think maybe it's a possibility. But I won't get my hopes up; that only leads to disappointment.